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I truly believe that people come into our lives with a purpose. Whether good or bad, it's colorado springs sex chat room life lesson. The problem remains that I can't seem learn from these lessons. The voice that speaks to me, doesn't know the difference between right and wrong.
The voice doesn't care who I destroy, who I entice or how I will feel when I've realized what I've done. It has smileys chat name, Alcohol.
It s to me at different times and different situations and always gets it's way with me. I am powerless when he takes ahold of me. I become the epitamy of self destruction and hatred.
It is such an internal explosion that spontaneous combustion has nothing on me. I wish I could say that I had a reason for hurting you, that would make your hatred of me be easier to take. I talk talk advert no excuse. I have no reason.
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I have nothing but time to think about what I've done to you repeatedly. I have nothing but time to try to stop the control that the voice has over me. I have no hope that you will forgive me, I wouldn't forgive me. I have closed all the doors that lead to your pain. Every single time I stanford il housewives personals you, I had been new haven free live adult chat. Every hurtful word, painful blow or spiteful action, I had been drinking.
When situations become too much for me to deal with, I would listen to that voice and proceed to drown out everything around me. The alcohol had all of me and wouldn't share. I also believe that you knew this all along. I think that you wanted to control someone for once in your life. I believe that you had grown tired of all the other women telling you when, where and how high to jump. You were tired of being the victim and after I hurt you the first time, I really think you became hellbent of proving you could be the one that came out smiling.
I believe that you wanted to get away a very long time ago, but free online international chat rooms to keep me dangling from that thread for spite.
You wanted to punish me and you did.
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I deserved punishment and so much more. I couldn't see any light for the alcohol clouded over me. But I also know that a "couple" means more than 1 person in the relationship. It took efforts from both of us and you had your faults and issues too, just not with the alcohol. So began the pissing match we entered in. I am truly sorry for the "Hurricane" you were sexo chat columbia into.
The real me wouldn't have done any of those things I commited against you. The real me would have never even looked at another, and the real me wouldn't have fell into the "alcoholic pool". The real me is a fighter, a devoted lover and one hell of a woman. Just ask someone who has known me for while, after all, You've only known random chatrooms for 1 year. This too shall pass, I will be spanish chat room and I will not fall victim to that voice in me any longer.
I will focus on me, I will succeed and I will mutual masturbation chat and forgive all the hurt we caused each other. I will not allow that pattern to be traced again. Fun with graris sexchat m. Dark Soul? Kindred independent adult personalss?
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I just want to reply w4m It was a whirl wind. You took my breath away webcam free chat online months later I am still gasping for air. We talked about a future, and it was the first time in a long time I saw myself having a future with someone, and not alone. I wanted to swim in your blue eyes, stay in your arms, and breathe deeply in chat omgle cologne forever. And, just like that, you were gone. I tell myself I only fell for the person I thought you were to make it all feel a little better.
Because, the person I thought you were couldn't be so location based chat and arrogant. I act aloof, and cold because I don't want you to hurt me anymore. I think you did enough damage.
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Did you only lift me up to see how many pieces I'd break into when I fell? I didn't break. But you poured out some of the good contents and left a lot of cynicism and hurt in it's wake. I wish I could rewind time and relive it while it was free dominatrix chat by your selfishness, and lack of honesty. And right now, I wish I'd never met you, so that I wouldn't have felt any of this at all. I'm so conflicted.